Monkey See Monkey Do

Why is it that when I think of you it hurts? You would think I wouldn’t care anymore but I still do. You say you care about me, you say you feel bad for what you did. But if you feel bad about it then why do you not fix it. It’s never to late to fix what you have done, but you can’t wish it all away and pretend I don’t exist. Because I do, and incase you haven’t noticed I’m a person to. You can always come back into my life I would love for that to happen. But you have to choose. Stay in my life, or just get out. It hurts too much for you to drift in and out of my life when ever you please. I’m not a toy, you can’t just throw me aside when you decide you’ve had enough of me. I know it must hurt when you talk to me since I’m part of your past and you don’t want to remember your past. I know you’ve been through a lot of rough times but now that you’re back on track you should take the time to think about others and not just your self. I’m not asking to much of you, I’m just asking you to choose. Stay in my life or stay out. I don’t care which one you choose, but ether would be better then what you’re doing right now. If it’s to much for you to handle to be in my life then just don’t! It will hurt me less if I just don’t here from you. It hurts to say that but I know it’s the truth. And at least be honest, if you say you’re going to call, then call! If you’re not the just tell me, or don’t even do that, just say bye and I’ll take the hint that you probably won’t call back. You have to stop lying. Even though I know you are it hurts that you think you have to lie to me to keep me happy. I’m 16 now, I can figure things out on my own. And I can certainly figure out when you’re lying. The sad thing is, I don’t think you have ever gone through with a promise that you made me. You never do what you say you will. Easier said then done I guess. You constantly let me down everyday of my life. But yet I can never be angry at you. You just make me feel bad, like I did something wrong, even though I know its not my fault you left to become a drug addict, and forget all about your family. But it feels like my fault. I just get sad I want to yell at you and tell you how much of a jerk you are, but every time I talk to you I cant bring myself to do it. I would hate myself for the rest of my life if I did say that to you. So I just don’t say anything and hope that it will all work out. But it never does.