Tomorrow never comes...

Monkey See Monkey Do

Why is it that when I think of you it hurts? You would think I wouldn’t care anymore but I still do. You say you care about me, you say you feel bad for what you did. But if you feel bad about it then why do you not fix it. It’s never to late to fix what you have done, but you can’t wish it all away and pretend I don’t exist. Because I do, and incase you haven’t noticed I’m a person to. You can always come back into my life I would love for that to happen. But you have to choose. Stay in my life, or just get out. It hurts too much for you to drift in and out of my life when ever you please. I’m not a toy, you can’t just throw me aside when you decide you’ve had enough of me. I know it must hurt when you talk to me since I’m part of your past and you don’t want to remember your past. I know you’ve been through a lot of rough times but now that you’re back on track you should take the time to think about others and not just your self. I’m not asking to much of you, I’m just asking you to choose. Stay in my life or stay out. I don’t care which one you choose, but ether would be better then what you’re doing right now. If it’s to much for you to handle to be in my life then just don’t! It will hurt me less if I just don’t here from you. It hurts to say that but I know it’s the truth. And at least be honest, if you say you’re going to call, then call! If you’re not the just tell me, or don’t even do that, just say bye and I’ll take the hint that you probably won’t call back. You have to stop lying. Even though I know you are it hurts that you think you have to lie to me to keep me happy. I’m 16 now, I can figure things out on my own. And I can certainly figure out when you’re lying. The sad thing is, I don’t think you have ever gone through with a promise that you made me. You never do what you say you will. Easier said then done I guess. You constantly let me down everyday of my life. But yet I can never be angry at you. You just make me feel bad, like I did something wrong, even though I know its not my fault you left to become a drug addict, and forget all about your family. But it feels like my fault. I just get sad I want to yell at you and tell you how much of a jerk you are, but every time I talk to you I cant bring myself to do it. I would hate myself for the rest of my life if I did say that to you. So I just don’t say anything and hope that it will all work out. But it never does.

Just a Thought

In the end is it all really worth it? I mean we go through life trying to be great, and accomplish so much. But all for what? Just so you can loose it all at the blink of an eye. For your life to be gone! So you can be berried in the ground as you watch from up above, or down bellow, your corps slowly rotting away to nothing but maggots eating away at the last bit of flesh left on your bones. Or so that you can watch your family and friends pay of some guy you’ve never met to throw your body in a fire and scoop out the ashes left from what use to be your flesh, and bones. I guess what I’m trying to say is, why are we here? Is there a purpose other then to recreate and then to die? Why do we die anyway? I mean why would someone: or something, create something else knowing its going to die? And having to watch all of there beautiful creations just waist away till nothing is left but dirt. Is there a purpose to it? If so what is it? And why does no one know? And why can’t we know? We fallow some “lord” not even knowing who or what he is. We make excuses just so things make sense to use, but yet we all know it doesn’t make any sense at all. We run around for years working ourselves like dogs till we can no longer. All of it just doesn’t make any sense if you really think about it. We see what we want to see but were still not seeing the truth, and honestly I don’t think we will ever know the truth, not in this life anyway.

Poptart Crazy

As many of you know I am quite the pop tart fiend :S
But now I realize that I may have a pop tart addiction.
I first realized this when my mom bought a box of pop tarts for the first time in about 3 weeks. I was so excited that I jumped up and down and danced around while devouring 2 pop tarts at once. Yet 2 pop tarts wasn’t enough, I wanted more. But I convinced my self that 2 pop tarts a day was enough. So the next day I proceeded down to the kitchen only to find that there were a few pop tarts missing. Realizing that my brother probably ate them I knew what I had to do. So I took the box of pop tarts and hid then in my room that way I would have them all to myself. My plane worked, no more missing pop tarts. But the next day, on my walk to school came the real problem. I put on my jacket that I hadn’t worn in about a month. when I was putting my ipod in my jacket pocket I realized there was something else in there. I pulled it out only to find a pop tart wrapper. Out of curiosity I checked my other pocket, only to find another one. Not only that, I didn’t even throw the wrappers away when I got home. There still in my coat pocket. So I admit I have a problem, I need a pop tart intervention!